Wednesday, September 26, 2007

So this is the Future Generation?

Yesterday I had the pleasure of heading back to my Alma Mater, the glorious UCLA (University of Catonsville, Left of Arbutus), for their annual Career Fair. This was the first fair I had attended and it was a little odd going in as an employer as opposed to a potential employee. It made me feel old... I don't want to be old... I am a Toys 'R' Us Kid.

We saw a ton of people. There were three of us there from my company and I felt like I was pretty busy throughout the four hours. I was blown away by some of the candidates, highly skilled, highly engaged, really good people... and then there were the others. Oh my the others.

So I am not sure what you have been told about presenting yourself to potential employers, but here are some things I saw yesterday, you decide if you would hire these people:
  • "I am looking for a position in HR" and proceeding to hand me a HOT PINK Resume... Seriously, if you end up in HR are you going to give bonus points to the resumes that smell nice. Here's a hint, Legally Blond IS A MOVIE... COME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD.
  • When asked what you see yourself doing you respond with "Well I am in Computer Science". Are you? Really? I didn't gather that by your glancing at your resume, your inability to answer my question, your wrinkled shirt that doesn't fit or that odor. Computer Science is a degree, not a job. Do you want to Develop, do Analysis or Theory. The question is what do you want to do, not what is your education.
  • When I ask "Can I answer any questions about what we do?" and you respond with "No" or "Not Really." I didn't know that you were such an expert on what our company does, what the life of a consultant within our company is like, why we have a niche and how we are different than the other 50 consulting/technology firms that are standing in this giant gym wanting to talk to you. Maybe we should hire you, you clairvoyant little devil.
  • When I ask for a resume you hand me something that clearly came out of the busted copier on the fifth floor of the IT building moments ago. This is a career fair where you are making a first impression. Don't give me something where the toner was running out or there is a large streak of white through the middle of the page. There are words in the middle of the page. I would like to read them.
  • Don't over sell what you can do. If you list Pocket PC or mobile applications please tell me something more than you use one to check email. Everyone does, and if they don't they get how to use a stylus to point to little icons on a screen.

I am sure there are others, but for now this is a good start. Lots of people made really good impressions and then there are the others. If you are an other, maybe look into dog walking as a career. I hear pink fliers work really well.


MrsTwink said...

I resent the become a dog-walker comment! I don't think the incompetent should be looking after my dogs.

They should be picking up their poop. Geez!

Janice said...

I think it's funny that you call people idiots and you can't even distinguish the difference between "here" and "hear"

Eludius said...

Here are some of my favorites:

"Before I tell you about the job, tell me about yourself. 'Dude, I can do this job, I know it. I'm your guy'" Really? Now the job description - you'll be eating bullshit pies in a storage closet.

Do you have any computer skills? "Yes, I used a terminal computer in college."

And my favorite question asked of me, "Do you plan on wearing an earring during your next interview?" What? I don't wear earrings. WTF is that? When I got home, I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed for the first time in my life that I have a mole where the earring would go.

bricknhymr said...

HAHAHHAHHAHHAHA... you have a mole. I have the same thing.