Wednesday, December 19, 2007

If Wrestling was Life: Five Things in Wrestling that Would be Cool in Real Life

So I was watching wrestling last night and I decided that there are some things that happen during the great male soap opera that would be really cool if they happened in real life.

  1. Championship Belts - This has started to take hold in other sports already. Seriously, how awesome would it be if they gave you a belt as you graduated college, or got a promotion. Something to show all those other folks what you have accomplished. Carry your belt on your shoulder as you were picking up groceries at the supermarket. Have competitions for biggest and most belts. Even better... Could you imaging the pickup lines? "Hey baby, I was wondering if you could help shine my Belt". Okay, that probably wouldn't work.

    Yeah, a Championship belt. I would get it from this guy, cause if you are going to wear a belt, it might as well be from the source.

    Would you carry your belt with you and show it off or stash it on the mantle? Could you be challenged for your belt by your rival? So many questions to ponder.

  2. Entrance Music - You walk through the doors of your office a gong hits and the music begins. Maybe a pryo here or there. What a good way to announce your presence. It says to the rest of the room, "I don't know or care what you are doing, please stop everything and acknowledge that I am here". Don't you think that everyone could do with a little more acknowledgment? I am so coming in to "Sirus" by the Alan Parsons Project

    Now that I think about it, this could get annoying. Maybe there should be entrance music for just me?

    If you had it, what would you choose for your entrance music?

  3. Divas - Okay, I can't lie, being the full blooded American male that I am there is a special place in my...heart... for some of the beautiful ladies that enter the ring each week, particularly this one.

    The characters they play run the gamut from crazy psycho to sweet an innocent. Seriously, take your pick, every type of personality represented and every one really good looking. The other great part about the Divas, there choices in men. In real life not a single one of them would ever choose the wrestlers that their characters find attractive. When was the last time you saw a beautiful girl on the arm of some guy named Ballz? If only it were real!

    Yeah, I know this is crazy, but it is my fantasy, I will put in it what I want.

  4. The Call Out - Wouldn't it be nice? Whenever you needed someone you could call out their name and they would appear in the doorway. Think of the possibilities. Need a cup of coffee, yell for Juan Valdez. Hungry? I think Emril is free, just give him a shout. he will show up in 3...2...1. If only it were true. Oh, and if you are frustrated call out that bully from elementary school. It turns out he is an accountant and you can take him easily now. Don't believe me? Just call him out and get back all that lunch money, adjusted for inflation.
  5. Number five.... turns out there isn't a number five. Just the four listed above. If you can think of a fifth leave me a comment.


MrsTwink said...

I think a belt would be kind of a hassle to lug around. How about a crown? I'd be all over that. Or a sash. Wait - I'm totally channeling Miss America.

For the 5th item, I'd have to say it would be super cool to be able to hit people with chairs. I know lots of people I'd like to hit with a chair.

Brad said...

#5 kinda goes with the previous comment... you should be being able to hit someone if they piss you off! I so often imagine doing a move on someone that just irks me. Or hit someone in the head with a chair. =D